Obituaries

Thomas Cullen McElhany, beloved son, brother, uncle, and friend, passed away on December 11, 2024 at his home in St. Louis. Born in St. Joseph, Missouri to Rita (Hamm) and Robert McElhany on February 24, 1979. Thomas embraced a life filled with curiosity, humor, and adventure.

Thom was a graduate of the University of Missouri, where he earned a degree in psychology and political science, laying the foundation for his lifelong fascination with people and the world. His career was as varied as his interests, spanning over 25 years in the hospitality and retail industries, and a successful chapter in technology sales in Silicon Valley. Whether guiding young professionals as a mentor, boosting team morale with levity and confidence, or greeting guests with warmth and charm, Thom brought his unique blend of intelligence, wit, and generosity to every endeavor.

A true adventurer, Thom traveled the world with an insatiable curiosity, exploring Indonesia, Singapore, Spain, Morocco, and Mexico. His time abroad included a transformative year in the Gili Islands, where he learned scuba diving and eventually taught others, sharing his love for the ocean. He also spent two summers living and working on a commercial fishing boat off the coast of Alaska, immersing himself in the rugged beauty and challenges of the Alaskan wilderness.

He lived and worked across the country with time spent in Missouri: St. Joseph, Columbia, Jefferson City, Springfield, and Kansas City then out west in California and Arizona. Ultimately, he settled in St. Louis to be near family. Working and spending time with family kept Thom busy, but he made time to give back to causes he held dear. He volunteered with several organizations including the International Institute, teaching English to Afghan refugees, and Home Sweet Home, supporting their work in providing home essentials for the formerly unhoused. This community service reflected his profound empathy and commitment to helping others find their footing and voice.

Thomas’s love for music was boundless, and he played a variety of percussion instruments with passion and aplomb. He delighted in discovering new artists and sharing them with friends and family. Equally, he relished games of all kinds—board games, card games, video games—finding joy in both the competition and the camaraderie they offered. He had a voracious appetite for books, podcasts, graphic novels, tv, movies, art, and music. Thom reveled in creative expression and thought-provoking storytelling.

He was a loyal and loving sibling – always ready to help with a move across town, a household project, house-kid-pet sitting, a shoulder to lean on or a humorous distraction during harder times. The consummate middle child.

Thom adored being an uncle to his two nieces and nephew, as well as a host of cousins' and friends' children. A playful imp emerged when spending time with kids. He would roughhouse, cuddle, play, and impart some worldly advice whenever he had the chance. His whimsical spirit and silly side would show up in delightful and often surprising ways – twinkle lights in the cab of his truck, dancing a jig in the kitchen while cooking, and playing his personal “walk-on” song as he entered a room. He was always their biggest fan – attended countless concerts, plays, games, and award ceremonies. He showed up for every birthday and milestone celebration.

Thom collected friends like treasures—a motley crew of fascinating individuals from all walks of life. Some connections were fleeting but unforgettable, leaving behind wild stories and cherished memories. Others were lifelong bonds, nurtured with loyalty and love. He had a knack for bringing people together, sharing laughter, music, and deep conversations – and fantasy football.

Thom was most at peace being outdoors - camping in Denali National Park, hiking Camelback Mountain, scuba diving with sharks and sea turtles in the coral reefs of Southeast Asia, walking and talking around the neighborhood with a friend, or swinging in a hammock on a summer night. He found solace and wonder in nature.

Known for his gregarious nature, sharp wit, and generous spirit, Thom loved to cook for others. His cooking skills were legendary, particularly his penchant for preparing midnight snacks that were as spontaneous as they were delicious – and always with a spicy kick! He approached life with a generous heart and relentless curiosity, always eager to figure out what made people tick. He found joy in sharing the things he loved, from music and food to games and stories, leaving an indelible mark on everyone he met.

Thom’s life was a beautiful blend of curiosity, adventure, and connection. He leaves behind a family and community who will forever cherish his memory and carry forward his spirit of generosity, creativity, and love. He will be deeply missed and fondly remembered by all who had the privilege of knowing him.

He is survived by mother Rita McElhany, sister Anne Elizabeth Freshour (Chuck), brother Michael McElhany (Miriam), nieces Maranelle McElhany, Kathryn “Katie” Freshour, and nephew William “Liam” Freshour, and numerous aunts, uncles, cousins, and friends.

A celebration of Thom's life will be held on Saturday, January 25th at 2PM at Camp Wyman 600 Kiwanis Drive, Eureka, MO 63025. In honor of Thom's deep love of nature - part of the celebration will be held outdoors. If you plan to attend, please contact Elizabeth Freshour at elizabeth.freshour@gmail.com.

Donations in Thom's honor can be made to Home Sweet Home: https://homesweethomestl.org/tribute-gift/ or Home Sweet Home 10 Sunnen Drive
Maplewood, MO 63143 314.448.9838